Be Kind To Yourself w. Elliot Kenton
Finding Comfort in Your Truth: A Conversation with Elliot
In our latest episode of "Coming Out Stronger" I had the privilege of speaking with Elliot, an advocate and co-founder of Transparent Presence CIC, who has graciously shared his journey of self-acceptance and advocacy. Elliot’s story is one of courage, transformation, and the profound impact of embracing one's true self.
Elliot’s Journey
Elliot’s journey began at 14 when he came out as gay. He describes this period as relatively smooth, attributing his ease to the supportive environment of his Cornish secondary school and later college years. However, the path to understanding and embracing his gender identity was a different experience altogether.
At 30, Elliot began questioning his gender identity, feeling disconnected from the female reflection he saw in the mirror. Without anyone in his immediate circle who was transgender, Elliot faced this internal struggle largely on his own, which he initially mistook for a mental health crisis. His supportive wife played a crucial role when he finally opened up about his feelings, beginning with a heartfelt conversation during a trip to London. This moment was pivotal, marking the start of his transition and the complex conversations with his family, including their three children.
Challenges and Triumphs
Transitioning brought its own set of challenges, from misgendering over the phone to difficulties finding professional attire that matched his gender identity. Elliot also faced the challenge of reconciling his identity with the expectations of his workplace, which led to important discussions about gender-neutral dress codes.
Despite these obstacles, Elliot’s story is marked by resilience and support. He credits his family, chosen community, and the flexibility of his current work with Cornwall Pride and Transparent Presence CIC for helping him navigate these challenges. His journey is a testament to the importance of investing in oneself and finding a supportive network.
Breaking Stereotypes
One of the key takeaways from our conversation is the importance of breaking stereotypes. Elliot emphasizes that there is no singular way to be a transgender person or to express gender. He advocates for the understanding that individuals don’t have to fit into a predefined mold or follow a specific path, such as undergoing surgery or hormone therapy, to validate their identity.
This message is crucial for those struggling with their identity or facing societal pressures. Elliot’s story reinforces the idea that it is okay to be a work in progress and that everyone’s journey is unique. His experience also highlights the value of having allies and mentors who can offer support and guidance.
Advice for the Journey
Elliot’s advice for those who have not yet come out, regardless of their gender orientation, is to be kind to themselves. He stresses that there is no rush or pressure to come out by a certain age or at a specific time. The most important aspect is to live your truth and seek support from those who matter most.
Get Involved and Support
For those interested in supporting or learning more about Elliot’s work, Transparent Presence CIC is a community interest company focused on the trans and non-binary community in Cornwall. They run various initiatives including the Vocal Presence choir and youth support groups. Upcoming events include performances at Falmouth Pride and the Royal Cornwall Museum, showcasing their commitment to community and visibility.
Conclusion
Elliot’s journey is a powerful reminder of the importance of self-acceptance, the impact of a supportive community, and the need to challenge harmful stereotypes. His story is an inspiring example of how living authentically and embracing one’s true self can lead to profound personal and communal growth. As Elliot so beautifully put it, finding comfort in who you are is a vital part of the journey—be kind to yourself, and let your truth shine.
